I have been doing a lot of soul searching for the last while, and it has made me a little despondent. I don't think it's depression, I am just having a reflective time and feel that my personal report card is not so great. Bottom line is that I'm feeling that everything that I'm really good at is not really important.
Examples: I am a really good speller (extraordinary). Hasn't seemed to matter to much in this life because most everyone around me doesn't notice one way or the other. I have a really good memory for numbers. Only thing that's good for was in the olden days when all the phones didn't have the numbers programmed in them anyway. I am really good at catching on to something the first time I hear it. That was only good when I was in school.
The things that really matter are things I am not so good at.
Examples: I am not, by nature, kind and compassionate. I try to do nice things for people, but it requires effort. Some of my role models seem to have an inate compassion that I have to work on. I am not very patient. My parents used to tell me that because some things are easy for me, I don't realize they are not equally easy to all. I have to work at this, too. I am not naturally humble. I also have to work on that, too. I think that it why I had such a wonderful husband. He was a good example of humility and I have him to emulate.
Bottom line -- is that I'm starting to worry. If I haven't acquired these traits yet -- it might be getting too late. I think I'll sign off and go work on being compassionate, patient, and humble. Big order, huh?
4 comments:
Oh you are to hard on yourself. I think you are an amazing woman and I glad that you have been a part of my life. There have been times in my life that I distinctly remember the words that you shared with me changed me for the better. (I will have share those memories with you in private.)So I know that you are compassionate. Love you!
I agree with Amanda. You are being too hard on yourself. I can share MANY examples of when you've shown your loving, caring, compassionate side.... you shared sheetmusic with me just because you knew I would appreciate it, you sent valentines to the kids, you proudly display all of our family pictures in your home. One thing that really stands out in my mind was when you were spoon feeding Grandpa and you two had worked out a little signal for when he was ready for the next bite. Remember that? You served him with love and compassion, not only in his last few weeks, but throughout your whole marriage. Thank you for the great example. Love you.♥♥♥
I have to repsectfully disagree with your comment about not being naturually compassionate. You showed me SO much compassion during the months surrounding Dennis' illness and his passing. Even though you were my "Boss" and you had an extremely busy life, you took time to listen and to care. I'll always remember the Christmas Eve visit you paid to us when Dennis was so sick and the kindness that you showed us at that time. You were a wonderful friend to me then and you still are! I don't think you realize how much you helped me during my darkest hours. Also, your insights and our long talks as I tried to move forward with my "new life" were very much appreciated. How could we know back then that you would have to experience similar trials in being separated from your sweet Bernie? I only hope others have reached out to you these past couple of years the way that you reached out to me in my time of need. I'll always be grateful!!
P.S. The "Three Amigos" need to do lunch soon!
I agree with everyone to disagree with you too. :) I think you are all the things you think your not. Sometimes it's easy to see things in others, but not ourselves. You are a strong woman, but one who also very kind and thoughtful.
Post a Comment